went for a haircut today. and i wanted to get a new hair style. but then, the hair dresser didn want to cut my fright. he just layered it. but he just didn want to cut it short. like whtever. so my head looks round, or rounder. like whoa. okae. but i think i look prettier. hahas. *self-praise


practising my trigo now. think i'm getting lazier agn. tmrr is such a packed day. my timetable is so screwed up. i have trg in the morning. agn! then rush back home for chinese tuition. no time for lunch of to bathe. then i have to rush str for maths tuition. how wonderful. :( planned to study and do homework. then i have trg. and all sorts of rubbish. phew.


.. i hate it when pple talk back bout my friends or family. esp you. i though i had no more feeling for you. i thought i was cold hearted. until tht incident. but i cant forgive you for all tht you have done towards me. it just cant be erased in a fortnight. my eyes are starting to twitch agn. when all the good things happen, the bad things are bound to return agn. this cycle goes on forever.


i hate it when i'm alone all over agn. this feeling just keeps haunting back. its so hard to hide it from pple. i wished i cld say it out. but i just cant. its not something simple. i've tried. but you just dunn understand how i feel. the sadness and hatredness has covered all the good times we've had tog. you've left agn. how many countless times have you walked out on us. i wished you nvr appeared in my life.


i wished i could express the hatred i have for you deep down my heart. for the many things tht have been suppressed in it. its just so unfair. i cant show it out towards you. i just cant. i feel so false in front of you. without you, i feel much better. i wish i could explode all my feelings in front of you this very moment. and settle it once and for all. :(


// all you left me was a shattered heart

woke up late. so late. just in time to brush up and go for lunch. had lunch in macs with someone. was late. met so many pple there. realised tht i've head for trouble? eh, but i aint my fault larr. -innocent eyes- anw, had trg agn. so tired. played soccer. and got wacked. anw, my day's boring.


dade bought a digital camera. -beams :)) its so gonna be mine!! hahas. going to sentosa for team outing on tues. gonna get myself tanned. anw, the tchers are going too. how great. wanted to wear bikini to get myelf tanned. hahas. and play in the water. but the riles are, you are only allowed to junp on the water and only be at knee length into the water. so exciting ritex? wonder how to get tanned now.


had a talk with my mom. told her bout my decision to keep my hair short and not tying it up anymore. so she was like. okae. why not u have a hairsyle thts short. and like -blah blah- so i decided to get a new hair cut. cutting tmrr. just in time for the outing. yea!! but i'm pretty scared. dunno how it'll turn out. oh wells :|

didn go to school today although they had lessons and teachers' day celebration. stayed home to study. then headed for town to meet ivan and study again. its like, everyone's out hanging out in town and catching movies, while we are studying and we have tuition later. tht sort of thing.


had a nice talkwith ivan on the way to mrs lau's. told him bout my problems. he is really a sweet listener. oh wells, i wasnt a good listener for him i guess. he seems troubled. he enlightened me bout how guys would feel if you are avoiding him after certain things has happened. advised me to talk to *him. i'm scared to hurt his feelings.

i wasnt in the mood to blog. but hahas. for the sake of updating everyone. so yea.
on monday, we had this bitching session on someone. ahahs. all of us were gathered in a small corner. hahas. the bitching meter, which is me, broke down. cause instead of stopping them from bitching, i bitched the most. wahahas. but it was worth it. vented all my anger. feeling so awkward now. been avoiding eye contact with her all week. its just so weird although the both of us dunn show it. everyone wants to knoe more. i wished i had too.


went out with bestie yest. shopped for presents for my dearest pervertic senior, virn!! yea. we decided to stuff her with food and lots of food. she gonna get real fat! :) then we saw meiyan while taking neos. for once i persuaded her to take neos with me. hahas. supposed to shop for edwards present too. but had no money in the end. sorry edward!!


ivan called me during my maths lesson on wed aftn. eeks! think he accidentally called me. then selene had my phone! and like, everyone knoes tht ivan caled me and were asking who was it. then selene was like, "i knoe, i knoe. show you the pic." whoa. how interesting can they get. then today. they started it all over again? went thru all my neos. haiis.


afteer trg. went macs. then this supposedly handsome guy from monfort called rayner was supposed to meet my bestie to study. and he suddenly appeared at macs. hahas. this guy's a flirt and he is so annoying and despo. at least i knoe his actions annoys me! then get to see wht happened next. i suppose something did happen and tht i better get updated real soon. had tuition. came back.


happy birthday virn!!
happy belated birthday edward!!

friday.
went to j8 with yupei. had lunch there. met valen, eunice, citra. then met didi. hahas. love his hair to bits. made him look much tougher. oh wells, he was meant to study with winnie there, but yea? dunn think he studied. sheesh. headed for tuition. slept in class cause mrs lau wasnt back from school yet. so pig. woke up only when ivan came, 45 mins late! -stares at him.


saturday.
had breakfast with my didi [not pokiat] at taohui stall before reporting to scool. helped mdm mah carry bananas. arms are hurting like crazy now. went to sentosa!! thinking i would get myself tanned. hahas. -wishful thinking shu- played lotsa games and team building stuffs there. but the games look so familiar to me! bet they copied from somewhere. anw, love the lunch time. bel was talking all bout her poker-dot bikini! hahas. and her red panties!! she was doing her bust exercise. it rained. dampened the mood. everyone was so congested in the big tent. but the food was good.


was so so tired. came home, bathed and slept for 12 str hours. wanted to blog but decided not too. today is the yonex sunrise finals. wonder who won. went to shangri-la hotel for a buffet dinner. nice. so full now. it my dad's burfday! not watching f1 now. cause micheal is losing like shit!! think he might lose the championship lead too. ruben is out! -sobs.


check out this splish slash baby website. its super cute and funny. really makes you smile. :))

didn blog yesterday. the internet connection didn work. ended up using my time to write letter to my partner. cux i gave up studying for physics. anw, i was happy and sad yesterday. hahas. happy cux jason called up at bout 730pm and said he could go for the farewell lunch today. yay! -beams :)- jason's hot. but he doesnt have a way with gals. hahas.


physics was okae today. yay! for once. headed to town right after school and they were all late except for jason. we had this tuition farewell lunch for jason cux he was leaving for boston. then, josh and edward came. as usual, ivan was the last to arrive! so funny. my ex-tuition class is filed with guys from the acs-family only. and i'm the only girl there.


went to nydc for a late lunch. so hilarious. we were like kids going to nydc, as if we nvr been there before. super lame jokes. -shakes head- then we sent edward and josh off. headed down to heeren to take neos. went there. took neos. it was so funny. we were fighting in there. make loads of noises. doing stupid things. hahas. love it loads. then jason had to leave. so sad. wunt be able to see him again until dec larr. :( headed down to cine with ivan after that to watch lxg. pretty cool. simple yet sophisticated.


thats how my day ended. exciting yea? realised departure's part and parcel of life. friends come and go. :) might or might not be a good thing though.

in the computer lab now!! the comp's so fast. hate typing behind the tcher's back. so irritating! arg. okae. candice saw me typing it. hahas. so long as the tcher doesnt see. love the eng lesson's now!! hahas. okae. gtg.

great. i while ago, my room was like a pigsty. now its so clean and tidy. all thanks to me! hahas. okae. all my bags were piled on the floor, the comforter [?] is on the floor, my books were lying on every inch of my bed. plus the ironed clothes. and my pillows were everywhere. haiis. table was filled with dirt. should have taken a foto to see how bad it was yea? now its much better with walking space!!


okae. i practically slept my sunday off. only starting to do work now. decided not to on my comp for a long time until the exams are over. so i wunt be on msn. and i'll only use my bro's comp to blog. how wonderful ritex. hope liddat i can go for trg three times a week. haven told my mom bout it yet though.


i love senor christiano ronaldo to bits!! he is so superb and great. only 18 yrs old. -screams- hahas. commentator: "he's got the number and he's got the name!" yea, its no.7 for him. hate beckham, love ronaldo!


edward >> heyys. so whts the decision for wed? tell me asap kkx. me and ivan arelooking forward to it. i wanna go nydc. but do you want to treat me?? -daydreams-

mortal >> replying you here cux there is something wrong with signmygbk.com anw, got nothing to tell you, except, i want the honeystars!! -yumyum- hahas. okae, shall update u bout things next time. studying hard yea? think you wunt see this anw. cux you only come online like once a week now which is very good already? yea. +ilu+

oh wells, the party was a bore!! yucks. wht to do. its almost like a function! anw, watched tthe american version of the ring. scary. but not as bad as ju-on!! anw, me and natasha were like drinking a can of beer. but we had to go through so many 'obstacles'. hahas. yea. tired. its 1am.

nitey`

yikes! just came back from training. actually, we had a whole load of evaluation thingy again. this time it was good. talked bout the game and stuffs. reflected on myself. something seems to be pricking my consciene but i cant seem to knoe wht. then coach talked bout my studies and why i'm only trg twice a week. oh wells, its not as if i nvr begged my mom. she came hammering down on me saying thats final? and coach wants me to talk to my mom again? will probably end up quarrelling with her. -dilemma-


going for teddy's bdae party next! its my ex-tutor's son. only p2. so cute! anw, the name's is really teddy. teddy bear!! hahas. okae. i'm maluating myself over a small boy. eeks! well, gotta go bathe and head down now!

i'm in a happy mood today! yay!!

just helped trish with her new blog. so nice! love her template! pple, check it out alriteys? can read her blog often now! yupps. :))


anw, failed my maths. chemistry was bad too. mr wong talked bout blogs during assembly. oh wells. come to think bout it, i cracked a funny joke during assembly when we were watching the video on our school's heritage. yea. secret.coming back to my lame days. recess was bad. all valen's fault larr. and christine's [?], and nat.. and alot of pple. haiis. suddenly my fone became so popular. hahas. had so many comments on it, and its contents inside. then, jas had to appear in my class when so many pple were arnd. whoa. like not embarrassing at all.


everyone's giving me that weird smile. in one way or another!! eek. anw, went home to sleep. totally forgotten tuition was pushed forward! so embarrassing. got a scolding from mrs lau. eek! hahas. anw, got to see ivan for 20mins. talked to him like alot. realised that if everything's settled, i can see ivan, jason, edward and mebbe some others on wed!! so happy! i'm a happy lil girl now. :))


talked on the fone with my stupid mortal after that. was so so lame. kinda updating her on things that she missed out cause of the things happening recently. yea!! and you are so gonna give me my honey stars on monday kkx!! -hmmfs.


ele >> heyys. i'm happier now. was a lil' sad for the past few days due to some things larr. but you try not to be sad too klx. wil have loads of wrinkles wan! i'm just too happy to sleep now. gee.

edward >> heyys, you and jason try to see if you guys are free on wed for lunch tog? mebbe cause thats when me and ivan are free? oh wells, hope you guys can make it. :)) reply me asap.

// you made me smile like i've never before //


oh gosh!! i majorly screwed up my whole day.

risked on studying viola. and malvolio came out!! only had 20 freaking minutes to study it? so wasted. totally forgotten all the blardy quotes. had to suffer from the disappointment. then it was like, maths test?? so fucking hard. didn manage to finish the questions.

then had a study session with yuying, yihui, jan, valen, pat. yea- was so cool. like yea- anw, chemistry lesson was so fun! with valen!! hahas. both of us were so noisy. think we disturbed the others larr. anw, she drew on my papers again!! first, my twelfth night! then, my chem ws! fuckadoodees. played badminton with my juniors for 15 mins. gonna get pimples again. loads of them. cux i didn wear my hairband! -pouts.

anw, thanx for bearing with me yest on my entries yea?


hmphs, things are getting better for me. mebbe i'm relying too much on friends to numb myself. i cant feel a thing for you. that explains why you are transparent in my life?


//my world crumbled right before your very eyes //

screwed up. stress. angry. scared. irritated. mood swings. tired. this is absolutely a screwed up day for me.

i need a punch bag to vent all my anger on it. and i really really need it now. okae. i'm sorry, you guys might just wanna bear with me since you wanna read it!

first, i have to sit with some sicko -toot- everyday. then everyone near her gets totally disgusted at times. and wht am i doing there? still sitting next to her. when i bitch bout her, i feel evil, everyone says i'm wicked. and when i dont, ppl thinks she is my good good friend. when she totally isnt! she just doest knoe her own limits? trying to be a prefectionist. then, i have to cope with the fucking hell tests. i'm dreaming of getting full marks for my emaths tests tmrr and hoping that i dun fail and pass my elit test with flying colours tmrr. i dunn feel normal nowadays. sometimes i feel as if i must act like a different person in all when i'm facing some pple. i hate that feeling. pple say that we [for thoes of u who knoe wht i'm talking bout] are giving the feeling that we dunn need them and we are cocky. its not it. a misunderstanding. yea i knoe. but still- haiis. i'm feeling so crap and bitch now. i just dunn knoe why. mebbe my hormones changing for the worse? and i still have to act filial in front of my dad everyday. my family's situation sucks.

i hate myself. i hate it when i'm born in this world, and he doesnt make me feel i'm here for the better. i hate myself for bringing hatred and disharmony.

edward >> heyys. when do you think we can all meet before jason leaves? oh wells, i hope we could meet up. at least, me you jason and ivan yea? ohyar, pls help me tell your friend nicholas tht i aint pretty? hahas. thanx. cause i'm not close to him, feel kinda awkward if i go to his blog. meet up with ya one day. till then` -hugs-

bella >> heyys girl. chill yea? hope you have dried ya tears by now. dunn feel too remorse kkx. and dun take those things by heart. will bear in mind wht you said during evaluation today though it wasnt a suggestion. takecare-

happy.excited.sad.remorseful.angry.tired.
thts wht i feel today. so shit. had evaluation. touched my racket, like finally. wanted to blog so much, but i just didn seem to be able to type them all out? oh wells, i just hope things would change for the better and tht there's harmony and peace between everyone of us. [snbt: hope to see all of u at sentosa yea?]

i'm the bitching meter today!! muahaha. yea. inside joke. come to think of it, it was so hilarious. it was since when did we have so much fun tog. haven had a nice talk with my bestie for a long time! sheesh. so near yet so far? oh wells, gonna update you soon.

// true friends are hard to come by. they dont stand alongside you everyday, but they are in your heart every moment, every second. i love you guys! //

i just love my blog :)

whoa. had a terrific day today. excluding all those -ahems- though. think some pple will knoe wht it means yea? yupps. i listened for the whole day of lesson today!! -beams :)) first time this term. unexpected. some funny things happened during ting xie. and i was telling adele and she laughed at me!! whtevr. such a bad bad copier ritex? hahas. just hope i'm not invited to go remedial. :/

i did this quiz thingi from some email and the results are like so not very true!!
the one i love most: pokiat [like huh? rubbish. mebbe only as my didi?]
the one i care for most: peixuan [well, thats kinda true]
the one who knows me best: mom [yay!<]
my lucky star: yupei [so unexpected.]
the one that i like but just dont work out: ivan [rubbish. sheesh. just a good friend of mine.]

oh gosh. so stupid ritex? i'm so not gonna believe some parts of it! notice there aint someone's name on it?? sheesh. jason left for boston. so sad. -pouts. didn get to see him for the last time? or go out to take neos? dunn even have a photo of him! saddening. oh wells, must drag him out when he comes back. miss the good old sec 2 tuition days.

happy birthday yuying!!
arg. cant believe its your birthday liao!! anw, you lost ya fone so i couldn call ya. yupps. hope this is good enough for ya. cause its green in colour!! for once. not gonna let it happen again. yea- cherish it. oh wells, love ya loads.

watch the lost world. realised that it wasnt scary at all unlike the time when i watched it years ago. but it was interesting though!!

its 9th august! happy birthday singapore!! okae. that was lame!

its sunshine after the rain! -beams :)) guess almost everything has been resolved? great. and trainings in afew days time. i still wanna slack! -sobs i could anw, cos my momma wants me to have training twice a week only? sucha nag. she's been liddat recently. and almost everything is my fault! -hmmfs.

had national day celebrations yesterday. our class won again!! yea. like whoa. just with tinsels and we won. anw, i wore a small shirt and my mom commented that for once i'm wearing small shirts? like okae mann. then the roxy shirt had so pink things on it. not like i wanted it but someone bought it for me!! and my dear partner said that i look nice in pink? heh heh. hmphs, the board shorts my brother bought for me is really fitting!

headed down to bugis with yupei. then we met peixuan there. hahas. then yuying called and asked if she could join us. of course she could. realised that she asked jas for my no. when she was having meeting? oh how wonderful! -hides. caught how to deal. hmphs, its okae. but the funny things was that we saw yuyan and co. there. had so much fun? okae larr. oh, i bought jeans. yupei bought skirt!! but i had no money, didn get it in the end. i might get it soon thou. -hints at someone!!-

yea- so tired. slept at 11. i slept my whole afternoon today. missed the bus stop on the way home from tuition today. so pig. ciaos-

edward and adele:
yea. i have tried making the font bigger. but i like like it black. so yea- too bad.

anw, had no evaluation today. supposed to have. if i was there, i problem be disgusted. i dunno. a feeling inside? many things have been happening, too much i would say. dno if the rest if feeling the same.

the unsettling thoughts of future. the pleasant memories of the past. it seems like only yesterday. but its a whole new different world, different people we are about to face now. just pondering about it makes one wonder. wht has gone wrong? just one simple sentence would be the answer. but how else to solve it. nothing seems to be going right. if only we could reverse time. go back and choose the correct paths we are suppose to head. i guess, its all to late.

yea- for once i'm getting emotional. anw, been slack these days. went out with jas to watch movie. she treated me. -beams :)) watched good times bed times. whoa. its super funny and a little lame. but its horny (?) hahas. corrupted my brain. i need a brainwash soon. hafta wash away all these bad influences!! quick! hahas. then we went to take her 'act cute' neos. hahas. yupps thats all. training's resuming soon. sec 2s gonna join us soon. -beams :))- i love company.

went out with didi today. meet him for lunch. yea. its was so fuuny. went to j8, which yupei says its a low-class place. hahas. like whtever lorr. so pig. i ate more than him. -hides. then we walked ard. probably walked the whole of j8 thoroughly liao. and guess wht? we saw winnie and mel from sinmin. like whoa. hahas. so coincidental.

okae. hmphs. then we took neos. started questioning him and he refused to tell me anything. sheesh. yar. hahas. the neos turned out disgusting. next time i better take with him again. but must go town yea? then we didn have anything to do liao. decided to sit at the bus stop there and talk until he boards the bus. apparently, he didn want to be early. and so, he deliberately did not board the three 13 buses. sheesh. hahas. okae. realised that my didi was so cute in pri school. you guys must check out his pic. yea-

hahas. i have decided to buy a skirt! hahas. really. i must proved to tricia that i can wear a skirt. cux she ssaid she cunt picture me out when i wear a skirt. hahas. must prove to everyone! hmmfs.

okae.. i'm beginning to accept the fact that we lost!
lost to tkgs 1-3. sucks. and the bloodly chinese papers say we are no match for them. haiis.

went to party in orchard after that. and you just wounldn't believe it mann. we got chased and scolded by the same security guard for 3 times in 30min!! like whoa. like was for playing catching, then for singing [?], hen for sitting in an area blocking the safety fire route. like wadever lorr. curse that security guard to death. the day was so cursed. felt sorry actually. lost to tk's sarah and diana. could have at least played rubber. oh wells. its all over. i really need the gold next yr. if not i will seriously cry.

fluid fusion.
hahas. today was such a slacked day. watched i not stupid and daddy day care. so slack mann. but daddy day care is a stupid show. not recommended. yupps. then slacked at home. bathed. wore a sleeveless. the suit from bossini. yea. looked so so weird. all thanks to my broad shoulders. yea. hate it. so imperfect. anw, was funn watching. but mebbe i'm not a musically-inclinded person. tired now.

my mom's so nag now. she went like, you better study hard. no more time liao. how can you go out without my permission? i was like whtever. argued with her for the past few days. really need time to settle down and study ritex? after 1 long month of competitions and 3 months of trg. yea.